Challenge Day 3

I'm already wavering. I am hungry! I am crabby! I would love nothing more than to fall into my routine of justifying some comfort eating.

Then I get a text message from a girlfriend asking if I want to come out and have a few drinks with some friends. 

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I want to so much!!! So so so much. 

But I'm on Day 3. And I'm so tired of falling into the habits that have caused and maintained weight gain. I am trying to focus on being proud of myself for staying strong, but in the background of my thoughts I am hearing "eat something!" 

They don't call it a challenge for nothing, but my word! Last challenge I didn't feel this until about day 14 or so.

I did a little comparing from the end of my previous challenge to the start of this one. (Last one ended late January.) Since then the scale tells me I've gained one pound, but lost 1.75" overall (comparing measurements). My initial guess is muscle. I've been running more and some weights so it would make sense for that difference!

I'm completely aware of how the scale shouldn't be how you base success, but DAMNIT I'd love to see the numbers drop. And I'd love to feel my clothes fitting loose to the point of not being able to wear my fat clothes anymore.

I feel like this post is hostile as I sit at my dining room table figuring out when I get to eat next. 

Must keep eye on the prize!!!!! 

Happy Friday!  :)

24-Day Challenge with Advocare DAY 1

I am still alive!  I know all of my readers (do I have any???) have been anxiously awaiting another post.  I know it has been quite awhile since I've written but I am back!

Today marks DAY 1 of my 24-Day Challenge through Advocare.  I am a distributor, so if you have any questions or if you would like to order products, head on over to my page: www.AdvoCare.com/131115921

I am excited to be embarking on this journey.  I took measurements today, and I should take some before photos too, but I haven't been brave enough to do so.  It boggles my mind that after months of exercising I have not lost weight, maybe a few pounds.  I take my progress based on how my clothes fit more than the scale and my clothes are not fitting any better than they were.

I have so many things going on. To summarize, changes in anti-depressant medication (that I don't really think I need any longer, working on it), dermatologist visits discovering a cyst that was caused by hormonal imbalance, saliva tests to check my hormones, discovering that I am very low on Estrogen and Progesterone in my body (as in off the charts) .....  SOMETHING ISN'T QUITE RIGHT.  Having significantly low estrogen and progesterone can cause weight gain and water retention.  This makes sense to me.  I have many of the other symptoms of someone who is experiencing hormonal imbalance.

After working with my doctor I am now on 20mg of Progesterone cream per day.  This in itself has me feeling good and bad.  Excited but also apprehensive.  Almost every single thing I've read regarding Progesterone cream includes a side effect of weight gain.  EXCELLENT.

Needless to say I am embarking on a journey that is going to be ....interesting.

I am SO EXCITED to take on the 24-day challenge because it will enforce strict clean eating and exercise which is part of my New Year's resolution to begin with.  But in the back of my mind I have fear that I'm going to start gaining weight from messing around with my hormones.

I truly don't know what to expect.  I hope that I can defy all the odds and pull out of this transition in my life where I can lose weight and feel happy on a daily basis.  These are my goals.  Written out, out in the open for all the world to see, so that I will be held accountable to doing everything I can go accomplish them:

GOALS
1.  Get off anti-depressant medication
2.  Be Happy
3.  Lose Weight!  10 pounds during this 24DC (24-day challenge).... (I want to be down 30 pounds by April 25th ....my 30th Birthday, WHOAH)

Be sure to put your seatbelts on, folks. This might be a wild ride, but I am going to do everything I can to not only MAKE my goals, but exceed them.

Motivating Tweet by @Women_Fit

Motivation:

GET FIT: Eat cleanly, get your body moving, drink lots of water. (Side affects may include happiness, radiance, and amazing health)
— Women's Fitness (@Women_Fit) November 14, 2013

Food Log / Daily Food Intake Traking (DFIT)

Oh the power of logging your daily food intake!!!  Holy moly.  Today I decided to write down everything I ate.  Wow.  No wonder the scale isn't moving very much.

This isn't a new concept to me, I have tracked my food intake before.  I fully admit that I got way too obsessive about it.  I would take one grape off the top of the bowl to get to an even 3 ounces of grapes.  Yeah, that is a little too crazy.  This is why I have stayed away from tracking because it becomes a very tedious thing on my mind nonstop throughout the day.  It is effective, yes.  Yet, too much for me at times.

THAT BEING SAID!  It's time for some accountability, so today I took the plunge.  I am not at the stage of weighing my food yet or even writing down calories.  Instead I am trusting myself with the ability to control my portions so that when I write down what I ate for a meal, I will know that it was a "normal," portion.  I am not limiting myself to writing down, "I ate an entire cheese log," if the situation calls for it.  Yet, I don't want to hassle with one or two calorie difference.

I want to keep it simple.  I want to keep it accountable but not over-thought.  I'm a thinker.  I over-think a lot, so it's only natural that I can go a little wild with things like this.

Focusing on today, I can tell you with 100% certainty that I have been over-eating. I knew this!  Of course I was aware of my snacking.  I am aware of my weight not budging very fast.  I was beginning to blame my increased appetite on my increase in physical activity.  Yet, I was justifying it, or not thinking it was as bad as it is.  If I'm going to work my ass of exercising I would like to make sure it counts.  I don't want to starve myself and limit to XXXX calories per day.  Not yet, perhaps soon.  But right now I am too damn sensitive to tipping my whole world upside down to unrealistic standards.

I feel really good right now as I write this.  I consider my first day of tracking a success so far.  If I can resist the urge to pig out tonight before I go to bed then I will have had a successful day!  (kidding, sort of)  I have that slight "hungry" feel but not really hungry.  It's more like I am in the habit of going and getting something to eat when I feel like this.  But the idea of writing it down on my log??  No.  No, I will not eat a Reese's peanut butter cup because I DON'T want that on my paper for the day.  That's what I call motivation.  Boom.

Make It Count

I cannot even express to you how many ideas cross my mind while I am mid-workout.  It's like the floodgates open and now I'm sitting down to type out my ideas and I feel like making a fart noise with my mouth because nothing else of interest is coming to me.  My blog is so awesome.  LOL

I titled this entry Make It Count because every workout is a two-step process for me.  #1 - Do It.  Get up, change into workout clothes and DO IT.  #2 - Make It Count.

As I started my workout today I have to admit I had a lot on my mind that was non-exercise related.  All I wanted to do was put in an hour's worth of exercise so I could mark it on my calendar and I could be done with it.  As my workout progressed, the negativity of my mindset began to leave and it made me remember how important it is to make it count.  Don't zone out.  Don't watch TV or surf on your phone while you are exercising.  Pay attention to my breath, my rhythm.  Make sure I have good form, pay attention to the workout itself.  I also like to make life interesting with the music I listen to ~ in a way change up an interval and pace based on the song I'm listening to.  Little things throughout the workout that keep things interesting and different every time.

Making it count is like making a deposit in a bank account but instead of a bank, it's your exercise account.  Corny analogy?  Perhaps, but I completely believe it.

I am nervous about tomorrow.  I'm going to see a dermatologist about a little bump on my nose but all day my mind has been running wild with worst-case-scenarios and ideas of how it could all go wrong.  Now that I have finished my workout for the day my endorphins are searing through my body and I feel like I could take on the world.

How do you bottle up endorphins?  Like a jar of air from the mountains.  I want a jar of endorphins that I can whip out when I need a quick fix to take away anxiety or worry and just FEEL GOOD.  I sure do love endorphins.  They rock my world, dude.

Weight on my Mind

This morning I weighed myself.  Ugh, I remain on the dark side of getting back into shape.

I really am not a die-hard Star Wars fan, perhaps Pink Floyd is my inspiration for calling it the dark side?  Not likely.  LOL  I have no idea why I am latching on to that phrase, but it fits.

I'm not ready to share the actual number of how much I weighed this morning during my weigh-in.  After my first week of exercising and food "awareness" I have gained a pound.  I recognize this as muscle, because this happens every time I start climbing back on the bandwagon.  I will be at a sickeningly high weight so I'll start exercising waiting on baited breath for the scale to start dropping...yet instead it goes higher first.  If I can push through this frustrating part of exercising, the scale will start to drop, but it isn't instant gratification.  I need to build some muscle before I start burning the fat.  Happens every time, and every time I feel frustrated about it!  Part of life I guess :)

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