CHECK-IN SURVEY: Week 2
Number of days of Exercise: 4
Number of Cardio Exercises: 4
Number of Weight Exercises: .5
Total Time Exercised: 4.5 hours
Total Calories Burned: still gadget-free. I'm not ready for stats yet.
Proud Moments: Hitting the 3-mile-mark TWICE this week. holla!
Needs Work: Oh my, lots and lots and lots of things. Too many to list specifically.
I am very proud of myself for completing my second week of ...how do I say it? Living again. It's like my mind has been unaware and out-of-sync with my body for over a year. So very sad. I have said it before and I will say it again. I don't want to treat my body like that ever ever again. This is the only body I have. I only have this lifetime to enjoy it and be as healthy as possible. Maybe it's because I'm creeping towards my thirtieth year in life and I have been in a funk for almost a decade now? It's long over due.
I want to say around Sophomore year in college is when a huge shift in my life occurred. Up to that point I was busy in athletics in high school, and a fresh young Freshman in college I was DETERMINED to not let the "freshman 15" touch me. Proud to say it didn't! I exercised rigorously freshman year ...and then Sophomore year I probably gained 40 pounds. Oy vey. I got back into exercising regularly a year or so later but never really got back to my ideal "place." THEN I got engaged and kicked it into gear. I was NOT going to look like a cow wearing my white dress. I am happy and proud of the shape I was in when I was married. I could do push-ups like a pro, and although I wasn't my "skinniest" I felt amazing on my wedding day!
Around 6 months after our wedding I became pregnant with my son and couldn't WAIT for a big ole belly. I was going to be one of those CUTE and adorable pregnant women who don't look pregnant at all except for the bump.
umm. ha. hahaha. Oh dear.
THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. I gained 70 pounds. SEVENTY POUNDS. My son weighed 8 pounds 12 ounces when he was born. Holy shit. I couldn't fathom HOW or WHY my regular clothes didn't fit the day I got home from the hospital. Well, my ass grew to be the size of Minneapolis and I had more chins than I care to admit. Apparently when you're pregnant you cannot eat for two and not exercise a single day and remain healthy or fit.
I made several attempts after Sam was born to get back into the best shape possible, but lived for months in denial of post-partum depression and pretty much had a hell of a time. I made a valid push to be fit the summer before getting pregnant with my daughter but still weighed far more than I ever imagined I would weigh. The moment we started talking about having another baby I started exercising regularly. I wanted to be healthy during my second pregnancy. I had complications after giving birth to Sam and I still remember how weak I felt afterwards. I had no stamina, no strength. I wish I would have been stronger to aide in a faster recovery! Aside from getting fat I had lost a lot of muscle and it did NOT feel good to not feel strong.
I exercised throughout my entire second pregnancy but allowed myself to eat freely and thus gained weight. I gained 30 pounds with my daughter which is far better than my first pregnancy! For sure. But again, found myself very heavy after Kate was born.
Then a monkey-wrench was thrown into life. I had a gallstone attack a couple weeks after Kate was born. I went to bed that night seriously wondering if I was going to wake up in the morning. Looking back now it probably would have been smart to go the ER, but I'm happy with how things ended up working out over time. I was told by a surgeon that I would need to have surgery to remove my gallbladder which would require me to not lift more than 10 pounds for SIX WEEKS.
A man in an office told a stay-at-home mom to two children - one being only 2 weeks old - that I couldn't lift more than 10 pounds for a month and a half. I balled. I cried. I couldn't fathom life in recovery for that long. Kate weighed more than 10 pounds a week after she was born! I was not going to miss the early months of her life not being able to hold her or pick her up when she cried for me. Or to not be able to pick Sam up when needed me! Or to carry laundry baskets or groceries! I seriously looked into hiring a nanny. I felt sick at the idea of needing to rely on friends, family, a nanny, THAT EXTENSIVELY during this time in our life.
I made a decision then and there that I wasn't going to have gallbladder surgery. I instead made the choice to change my diet in any way necessary to get my gallbladder healthy again. If I kept having attacks then I would do the surgery, but if I could make changes in my life I was going to at least try!
I did a lot of research. (check out my Board on Pinterest dedicated to making my gallbladder happy) I cut out eggs, pork, red meat, gluten, unnecessary sugars, etc. One thing about this kind of change when you have gallbladder issues is to not to it drastically as it could cause more stress on your digestive system. Over the course of the next year I would very much enjoy these changes in diet. I learned a lot about myself with these changes. I prefer a vegetarian lifestyle. I will still eat chicken, some turkey and on occasion lean red meat. I created my Healthy Foodie board on Pinterest of healthy recipes that I still use and enjoy regularly), in case you're in the market for yummies.
Life seemed to be going in a great direction as far as weight. I was starting to wear pre-children/wedding-size clothes again...and as surreal as it was, I felt so out of place. I didn't feel toned or fit. I was skinnier, but not fit. I love being fit. I love being tight and strong, so the entire skinny year felt wrong because I was losing muscle in addition to the extra. I was wearing a splint on my abdomen 24/7 in the hopes of strengthening my core, but in doing so I became dependent on that splint. Any time I would take it off for longer than showering my back would start to hurt and I would feel weak in my core. Not a good feeling :(
Not to write a novel! Holy cow, I'm writing a ton.
Around November 2012 I changed my medication thinking that my current meds had become ineffective. I switched from Wellbutrin to Effexor (the generic of both) and thus started a year long downfall of my health and wellness.
That's a whole 'nother story.
Wow, this is very therapeutic to type all of that out. Especially because I am now starting my third week of being active again. It has been approximately 5 weeks since I stopped taking the Effexor and have switched back to Wellbutrin. I'm sitting here with my muscles feeling taunt and pleasantly sore (is that possible? I'm weird) after my workout tonight.
I'm not going to gloat or pat myself on the back yet because I realize there is a hugely wide and long road ahead of me. Wide because of the diversity of fit I hope to accomplish as well as long because it isn't going to happen over night. Nor would I want it to. This is the real deal, folks.
I have one serious flaw that tends to happen when I start getting back in shape. I can already feel myself thinking, "I did enough today, that's good enough." NO. NO. I neeeed to become an over-achiever of exercise. I need to always do more. I don't want to become obsessive, but as soon as I start to get comfortable, then I back down and take a day off. Or eat an extra dessert because I feel good! I feel like I'm in a good place. But it's never ending. The only way to get better is to keep going. Keep on, keeping on.
In addition to the single element of being fit, I'm going to have to start really holding myself accountable with calories. It's not a "I should," do it kind of thing. I NEED TO. The last two weeks have been purely about moving again, but it's an equation. I cannot exercise and exercise and still eat like a monster. It doesn't work that way. After Gallbladder Gate 2012 I was living proof that diet alone CAN change your life. Now I am doing more. I am going to change my life in both food and activity.
I feel like singing a huge anthem song that inspires and shakes you to the core! lol Eye of the Tiger perhaps?
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