I'm Terrified to Try This Detox

Tomorrow I am starting something new.  As I was falling down the rabbit hole, I refer to as Pinterest, I discovered a book that intrigued me.

I have been feeling in a slump.  Since last October I have been making it a point in my life to become more active, fit, stronger and healthier as an overall goal in life.  In doing so, I have tried as little as simply walking without changing eating habits, to the extremes of Advocare 24-day Challenges.  I have survived the spectrum of changes and have taken small pieces of knowledge from each experience.

Yet, I don't feel good right now.  I'm ready to shift my goals.  Of course I want to continue to be active, fit, strong and healthy.  It's time for a new combination.  A shifted approach and mindset.  Up to this point I have wanted to lose weight.  I've made a "number of pounds" to lose goal.  I've made goals of being active "X" number of days per week.  They don't have solidity for me.  It's good motivation, but there's also the aspect of aftermath.  And as ridiculous as this sounds, I find myself in one of two situations.

A). I don't quite reach the goal.  I put my heart into it and try so hard to make it, but I fall short.  I have a sense of accomplishment for doing what I can, but deep down I have to silence the little voice inside of me that feels like I didn't do good enough.

B). I succeed. In fact, I EXCEED my expectations and find myself on cloud nine. Then I fall from my cloud.  I don't know how to keep going after a 24-day program.  Sure there are ideas, logic, and many other reasons why I should be able to continue with my success, but nothing as regimented as the program itself that I succeeded doing.  In the back of my mind I hear a small voice saying, "YOU DID IT, and now you are in charge of keeping it going.....but why not reward yourself just this once..."  but it never is just once.  Before I know it I'm eating pizza and a bag of chips again.

This sounds utterly depressing and frustrating, but I'm coming to find the courage to actually put it into words.  Living in the denial of my food habits only causes me to stay stuck in this place where I find myself. It's ultra frustrating because I truly enjoy healthy foods already.  I love healthy foods - I regularly make wholesome and satisfying foods - when I have the time and motivation.  When it's convenient to make a frozen pizza?  I've done that a time or two.

This desire and need for a change is more than simply losing weight.  I am looking for holistic and preventative measures to help my body from the inside out.  Specifically for my digestive tract.  I don't have a set goal of how many pounds I want to lose - I really don't.  I can choose a number, but I want to be healthy first.  Becoming toned and thin SHOULD come along with that hand in hand, naturally. This means, FOOD, is quickly becoming the most important element.  In addition to exercise, sleep, less stress, being HEALTHY.

During my pregnancy with my daughter and for about a year after I found myself with a feisty gallbladder that has brought about an awareness of the importance of these organs that I so easily take for granted.  I don't think about them when I scarf down a cupcake or bag of chips and how the foods have been created to make my brain as happy as a clam with their sweet and yummy flavors.  (purposely created by food companies to get you to love their food). I still retain my gallbladder, although multiple doctors have advised me to remove it.  That's another story for another day.

I've always joked that I am a "food-addict," because I like food.  I'm grown-up enough to come to terms with the fact that I actually consider myself a food-addict for real.  I eat when I'm not hungry if something sounds good. I over eat, and then feel guilty and horrible about it. I use food to make myself feel better if I'm stressed or down. I have always had a sweet tooth, so of course I will justify a reason to have a tootsie roll (or 3) from this last weekend's parade candy the kids gathered. It's a lot of red flags for me.  Combine bad eating, with not quite having my exercise regimen down to an art, plus going out with friends and having some drinks.  Lather, rinse, repeat and I find myself falling traveling down a dark road that is only going to lead to carrying unnecessary weight, maintaining bad habits, and potentially harming my body and digestive tract for down the road.

When I saw 10-Day Detox Diet book pinned amongst the wellness and health pins I was scrolling through I naturally went right past it.  I've done detoxes before.  I know how hard it is to stop eating certain foods.  I have done more than one detox, and the result is usually the same.  What I always thought of was simply "missing" the bad food I am no longer eating is actually physical signs of withdrawal.  Withdrawal from the sugars, starches and insulin-inducing food that my body is addicted to.  Why would I want to submit myself to another detox that will surely result in me falling off the bandwagon as soon as it's over and back into bad habits.

I bought the book.  Here is it's full name:  The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet: Activate Your Body's Natural Ability to Burn Fat and Lose Weight Fast by Mark Hyman, M.D.

I was not drawn to this book because of the title.  In fact it feels almost gimmicky to me when I read the title, but I bought it, and I've read it, and I'm going to start my 10-day detox tomorrow.  Allow me to share an excerpt of why this book is drawing me in.  Am I falling for a fast one?  I don't know.  But this kind of information hits home to me, and I agree and believe in so many of the core topics he discusses that I feel like a lightbulb is shining bright over my head with excitement.  

"How long can you hold your breath underwater? If I tell you to use your willpowers to hold your breath for fifteen minutes and that I will give you a million dollars if you do, there is still no way you can do this.  We are programmed for certain needs: air, water, food, sleep, and sex.  These things are essential to our survival.  If you are addicted to sugar and I tell you to resist giving in to your cravings by using willpower, I might as well tell you to hold your breath for fifteen minutes.

No one wants to be overweight or suffer the emotional or physical consequences of diabetes or obesity.  But willpower simply isn't enough to overcome the cravings for chips, cookies, soda, and more.  We are up against powerful biochemical mechanisms created by food addiction.  Willpower is useless when industrial junk food and sugar are in charge of your brain chemistry."  

Reference: Hyman, M. (2014). Finding Food Freedom. The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet: Activate Your Body's Natural Ability to Burn Fat and Lose Weight Fast (). : Little, Brown and Company.

This book talks about the way "taste engineers," create foods in our grocery stores that are specifically designed to activate the part of your brain that makes you feel GOOD.  With little to no health benefits. Not beneficial if it makes us fat and sick.

So.  This detox is about not cutting down calories or a strict amount of food to each each day.  In fact there's a page of non-starchy vegetables that says, "eat as many of these as you want."

I will tell you that I'm slightly terrified, simply because it isn't going to be convenient like picking up sandwiches at Subway. It's not going to be difficult either, it's simply going to be different.  Especially for my family, because I will be spending a lot of time chopping vegetables and offering nuts and seeds to the kids for snacks instead of granola bars.  I made my shopping list to cover 10 breakfasts and three days worth of snacks and meals. Forgive my language, but holy shit.  This is taking eating healthy into the real world.  The fact that I'm so startled by it means that even though I have thought I have been feeding my family healthy food, it hasn't been so great.  WAY TOO PROCESSED.  Also, I don't know where i'm going to store my 3 heads of broccoli, 9 cups of arugula and 5 cups of fresh spinach. I'm going to need a second refrigerator for all of these vegetables.  LOOK AT THIS.  Three days.  This is for three full days, and 10 breakfasts.

I'm putting this out there for accountability.  I'm scared of coming back in a couple of days saying, nevermind! I decided not to do this. I want to complete the 10 days and beyond. I'm trying to figure out how I'm not going to spend a million dollars at the same time.  Wish me luck.  I hope to return with exciting progress!